How To Talk To Girls: The Do's and Don'ts of Conversation

First impressions are everything, especially when it comes to meeting someone new. You want to make sure that your first impression makes the right impression, which is why knowing how to talk to girls the right way can be such an important skill to have in your arsenal of social expertise. With that in mind, here are some dos and don’ts of conversation that will help you create good vibes and establish yourself as a charming guy who can sweep any girl off her feet!

Eye contact

This may seem superficial, but eye contact shows that you are interested in what she is saying. It is a sign of respect to look someone in the eyes when they are talking to you. If your conversation goes well, try looking into her eyes for longer periods as it may lead to the attraction on her part. She may want to spend more time with you if she feels like there is something more between you two than just idle chit chat at a party or coffee shop. Don’t interrupt: A girl wants to feel heard and understood. Interrupting can make her feel like you don’t care about what she has to say. Also, once you have finished speaking make sure that you give her some time before speaking again so that she can share what’s on her mind without feeling rushed by your need to speak again. In other words, let a girl talk!

Smile

A smile can be a great way to break up an awkward silence, but it’s also one of those things that everyone thinks they’re good at, so chances are you’re not. A key component to a successful smile is not only having your mouth open but also your eyes—if you want to engage in flirtatious conversation with a girl, you need to ensure she sees as much expression as possible from you. And whatever you do... don’t fake it! It will come across as insincere and weird. If you’re nervous, take a deep breath before engaging her in conversation; try to relax; or focus on something else (like how beautiful she looks) for a few seconds before speaking.

Start with How are you?

Whether you’re at a party, in class, or just walking down the street, most conversation starters are simple questions about how someone is doing. Remember that talking about relationships is always a safe bet. If you don’t know anything about her life or love life, start with How are you? One way to mix it up is to ask for advice on how to find good restaurants in your neighborhood. Everyone loves to talk about food! Asking for recommendations can lead to other topics, such as travel and adventures. Another great opener is to ask what she thinks about something going on in popular culture—what she thought of an episode of a favorite TV show or if she saw any interesting movies lately. You can also try asking her opinion on a current event like politics or sports.

Never let them out of your sight

Most women have been in a relationship at some point, so they know all about breaking up. But what most guys don’t realize is that even though she may tell you she has nothing to say, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to talk about it; in fact, if you let her out of your sight for too long, it could hurt your chances. You should always be there to listen because no matter how much time passes or how many years go by, girls will never stop talking about their first love. And if you find yourself falling in love with one, make sure you give her space to open up about things like beauty standards and first kisses—because sometimes, just listening can be enough.

Be enthusiastic about everything

If you think I’m going to tell you how to fall in love with a girl, then you’re in for some bad news. There is no formula for falling in love, no hack that will trick you into getting there. And I can hardly give you any advice on falling in love since I’ve never done it myself—my first (and only) love was my ex-wife, who I met when we were both 15 years old. She broke up with me after three months, but our relationship lasted another two years before we finally got married. It’s been almost 20 years now, so I guess things worked out okay. But yes, my first love was also my last love. We do have kids together though! My point is, don’t expect to find your soulmate overnight. Love takes time, effort, and patience. You need to be willing to commit yourself fully if you want to fall in love. There are no shortcuts or easy ways around it; just be yourself and hope for the best.

Have fun

In life, relationships with others (whether friendships or romantic) come down to how much you enjoy spending time with that person. If you’re having fun, you’ll create a lasting bond; if not, it’ll fall apart. Most guys can admit that picking up women is at least mildly entertaining—so even if it doesn’t work out, keep having fun! After all, it only takes one successful interaction to turn things around. When you’re enjoying yourself, other people will too. So whether you strike out or not, don’t take it personally. Have fun and good luck!

Ask for her number but don't overdo it

You want to ask for her number, but you don’t want to look like a stalker. Timing is key here. Wait until she’s out of your friend group or standing alone, just looking around. Then go up to her with confidence, speak for about two minutes (and listen intently), then ask for her number—but only if you really liked talking to her. If you didn’t get much time to talk or didn’t connect well, let it go. It will be obvious if she doesn’t want to give it out. And if that happens, take note and move on. She wasn’t interested in giving it to you anyway. Also, don’t overdo it; asking for too many numbers can make you seem desperate.